Before this new look I was in fact blonde (not out of choice) I had wanted to have grey ombre (dark roots that would look like a gradient of grey towards the ends) but because I'm naturally dark and died my hair quite a bit I had to go through quite a hefty process to strip my hair of pigment and get it blonde enough so it would be able to be died grey.
I went to the hairdressers for hours and hours, getting my hair lightened and lightened to a white blonde (which would give me the light base I needed for the grey to show up) Unfortunately when it came to the last part of colouring it grey, my hair just refused to take any colour (due to the bleach and stripping process my hair had had enough and the grey just didn't take to my hair) I had bought a crazy colour hair dye and was told it would be perfect but alas, the colour just didn't take to my hair. I was actually so upset and frustrated, no way would I have gone through such an ordeal if I'd known this would be the outcome. I thought ok I've gone through a massive process to get here, let's just stay blonde for now and not have this whole thing as a waste of time.
The fact I had never originally wanted to be blonde I don't think I ever really warmed to it, I was blonde as part of a process. It was not what I had wanted as a final result so I never was 100% happy with it (I just learned to live with it) I did try to look after it as best I could, do treatments, I didn't use straightners but my ends were breaking all the time. Even though I was being super gentle when I combed it, I would have so much breakages and no matter what I did, I was loosing so much hair.
It came to the stage where I was so afraid to to anything with my hair that I just tied it up the whole time. I tried to hide the damaged broken ends in work by doing french twists. I would only ever take my hair down to sleep but then tie it right back up when I woke so no one ever saw how bad it really was.
After months of this, I thought enough is enough and knew I had to change it. I started to look up inspiration and think about what I could do. If I had a short bob, the damaged ends would be gone but there would still be bleached bits and as hair never really recovers from being bleached I thought a bob wouldn't really be enough. The more pictures I looked up I slowly started to realise that I was drawn to shorter hair styles and I did in fact want that kind of look.
The idea of cutting off all my hair didn't frighten me one bit, in fact I thought wow, this is going to be so easy to manage, it'll revive my hair and I can start from scratch all over again. So I booked myself in, showed the stylist the cut I wanted (which gave her a bit of a shock because people don't normally go from shoulder length hair to almost shaved) but I was set on the look I wanted. We had a very indepth chat about the style I wanted, the back, the sides, the front and then that was it. I got myself comfortable and let the transformation begin.
I must admit, when she told me to feel the back of my head because all the hair was gone, I had a bit of an oh my god moment. Not because I regretted it but when you put your own hand on your head when you're so used to having hair and then it's gone, it is such a weird feeling... a nice feeling, but still weird.
I had wanted the back and sides very cropped and then a mowhawk, pixie style length on top which would allow me to slick it all back or brush it forward if I wanted. After a few hours, that's exactly what I got. I also decided to get a dark semi colour dye put in as well, just to bring my hair back to my natural shade and make it all shiny and new again. I was over the moon when it was done and I couldn't stop running my hands over my head.
When I stood up and saw all my hair on the ground I laughed. I know so many girls who freak out at just having a trim and get so scared when a hairdresser suggests cutting an inch off so to see that much hair on the ground made me feel happy and free. The blonde was gone, my hair was shiny and short and I felt like a new person.
A week later, that feeling hasn't changed. In fact I love my hair even more now. I can wash, dry and style in ten minutes or I can just wash it and leave it as is. Because of how it's cut, it just stays as is and I don't even have to think about it. Everyone who knows me has said how much it suits me (I don't think I've ever got so many complimets about my hair in my life) I was told by my boss that if I had told her I was having it that short she would have turned me against it, but seeing it on me now she wouldn't change it. I've even had waitresses in restaurants comment on how much it suits me, that it takes a certain face to pull off such a look and that it looks really cool and striking.
I did cut it regardless of what people think but it's good to know I've not made a horrible decision. It's such a nice feeling not letting my hair control my emotions and not having to hide away the bits I don't like. I can get up and go and not have to think about my hair. It's honestly such a nice feeling. I don't know what I'll do as it starts to grow, I have so many options, but I'm so happy living with short hair and feel so much better now I've cut it all off.
Hope you've all had a lovely weekend. I am on a weeks holidays from work and I'm off to the Lake District on Wednesday, which I'm so excited about. Hope you're keeping well and I will chat to you soon x
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